He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
