her vagine was all disorganized.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
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