Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Someone shattered a urinal.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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