I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
