she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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