okay pat passed out under dana's car
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize