Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
