i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
