he wants to bone in the snuggie
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need to align my fucking chakras
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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