All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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