The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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