drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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