Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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