Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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