this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
