Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
