Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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