Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
