Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
