that's an acceptable place to lick
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
