love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
