Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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