Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Randomize
