somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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