Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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