neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
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