Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
