the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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