What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
