i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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