By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
