It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
