I puked a lego.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
