Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
