Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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