Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
