So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
