We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
