Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
