hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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