Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
