Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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