I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
