can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
