i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
