There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
