Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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