genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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