He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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