If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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